Waiting For Nothing To Change
Hey Drew, love your films man.
Needed to ask someone outside the box a Question...
Figured that would be Mr. Lindo...
I am a 26 y/o male, who fell in love with a girl.
When we first met, she had a boyfriend. She said the relation was just over...the kind of way you just feel that the spark/magic is gone.
When I refused to do anything physical with her aka kissing/sexual because they were still together, she broke up with her boyfriend to be with me. We never had sex at all, it was never a big deal. We were just happy to be together.
Well 3 months into it she left for college. Only 3 hours away, but far enough.
When I went out to visit her the first time, 2 weeks after she left, she broke up with me, she said she was still in love with her X, and couldn't see me anymore.
The next day I went back to her dorm. I said no, that I wasn't done with us.
I couldn't just walk away feeling they way I did about her. She agreed, and we got back together. This same scenario has happened 5 times in the 3 months we were seeing each other. Weather she is visiting me, or I am visiting her. I treated this girl with the highest respect at all times. Never a foul word, we never had an argument, never had a bad time while together. She was always smiling, always happy, always telling me how in love with me she was. And I the same.
Turns out, her X was stalking us via Myspace, and always knew if we were hanging out. Via my posts, or pics my friends posted, then he would go to her and tell her he knew we were still seeing each other. She would immediately call/text/come to my place and break up again. Saying "I just can't loose my friendship with him... I can't see you anymore.
Yet 10/12 hours later, after she went back to college, after visiting for the weekend. She would call me/text/message me, that she still loves me, and will always come back to me. And no matter what she says, not to listen to her, never leave her, and never abandon her. Her friends call/text me saying she misses me, and can't wait to see me again.
Dude, I don't know what to do anymore. Ether this girl is insane, or her X is abusive. Or she is stringing me along, and lying in hopes I will end this so she can have a clear conscience.
NOV/DEC...She still calls,texts,writes,and comes to see me. Always saying she loves me, and we are going to be together one day. She once said it was because she could not separate her fear from his jealousy. I didn't ask, but that is what clued me in to the possibility of abuse from this guy.
But everyone that knows this guy says that he is a nice guy.
Dude I know this isn't really a question. But if I had to put it into one, instead of write it into a freaking screen play, I guess it would be this.
Am I stupid? Am I making this all up in my head to make myself fell better?
Am I just not seeing the big picture?
Or should I give up, and cut it off.. I still love her and always will...
Thx in advance for any advice man.
Sometimes the hardest thing you can possibly do is simply let go.
We often find ourselves in situations that we know are unhealthy and unfair. We wish the person we have such strong feelings for would just straighten up and fly right, so that the potential for happiness can finally become a reality.
But they don't. Many of them will continually disappoint, proving again and again that their own intrinsic weaknesses are keeping them from moving forward into a happy and healthy relationship.
You sound like a solid fellow. I'm sure you love and respect her, but wish she would do so equally. She's putting you in an unfair position by saying, "I can't be held responsible for my actions or decisions."
She's unbalanced. For reasons you certainly do not have time to discover from three hours away and miles of emotional distance.
What's making this separation hard for you, as well as anyone in your position, is that she keeps coming back for more. Another remark, another act of affection, continuing an unending cycle of pushing you away and then luring you back.
You deserve better than that.
It's easier to walk away from a fire-breathing dragon than a warm smile and a kind embrace. Of course she's going to say the things you need to hear, she's feeding your Messiah Complex extra servings of Wheaties, and it's working.
The truth is you can't save people who don't want to save themselves.
It's going to be her decision to let go of the past, to release the grip this controlling, jealous ex-boyfriend has over her.
Until she does that, she is frozen in a state of emotional retardation.
I know it's hard to walk away when they call your name, when they say sweet things and hint at a brighter future.
But these are just words. Her actions will remain consistent.
It hurts to let go. But I'm of the belief that it is better to be alone than to be with someone that makes you unhappy.
Free yourself and prepare for a brighter future. Don't settle for daddy issues and emotional immaturity.
Mark my words, a woman of substance blows a girl of confusion out of the water, every time.
Don't settle for what you know. Wait for what you deserve.
It's worth it.
Send all of your questions to askdrewlindo@gmail.com.
Needed to ask someone outside the box a Question...
Figured that would be Mr. Lindo...
I am a 26 y/o male, who fell in love with a girl.
When we first met, she had a boyfriend. She said the relation was just over...the kind of way you just feel that the spark/magic is gone.
When I refused to do anything physical with her aka kissing/sexual because they were still together, she broke up with her boyfriend to be with me. We never had sex at all, it was never a big deal. We were just happy to be together.
Well 3 months into it she left for college. Only 3 hours away, but far enough.
When I went out to visit her the first time, 2 weeks after she left, she broke up with me, she said she was still in love with her X, and couldn't see me anymore.
The next day I went back to her dorm. I said no, that I wasn't done with us.
I couldn't just walk away feeling they way I did about her. She agreed, and we got back together. This same scenario has happened 5 times in the 3 months we were seeing each other. Weather she is visiting me, or I am visiting her. I treated this girl with the highest respect at all times. Never a foul word, we never had an argument, never had a bad time while together. She was always smiling, always happy, always telling me how in love with me she was. And I the same.
Turns out, her X was stalking us via Myspace, and always knew if we were hanging out. Via my posts, or pics my friends posted, then he would go to her and tell her he knew we were still seeing each other. She would immediately call/text/come to my place and break up again. Saying "I just can't loose my friendship with him... I can't see you anymore.
Yet 10/12 hours later, after she went back to college, after visiting for the weekend. She would call me/text/message me, that she still loves me, and will always come back to me. And no matter what she says, not to listen to her, never leave her, and never abandon her. Her friends call/text me saying she misses me, and can't wait to see me again.
Dude, I don't know what to do anymore. Ether this girl is insane, or her X is abusive. Or she is stringing me along, and lying in hopes I will end this so she can have a clear conscience.
NOV/DEC...She still calls,texts,writes,and comes to see me. Always saying she loves me, and we are going to be together one day. She once said it was because she could not separate her fear from his jealousy. I didn't ask, but that is what clued me in to the possibility of abuse from this guy.
But everyone that knows this guy says that he is a nice guy.
Dude I know this isn't really a question. But if I had to put it into one, instead of write it into a freaking screen play, I guess it would be this.
Am I stupid? Am I making this all up in my head to make myself fell better?
Am I just not seeing the big picture?
Or should I give up, and cut it off.. I still love her and always will...
Thx in advance for any advice man.
Sometimes the hardest thing you can possibly do is simply let go.
We often find ourselves in situations that we know are unhealthy and unfair. We wish the person we have such strong feelings for would just straighten up and fly right, so that the potential for happiness can finally become a reality.
But they don't. Many of them will continually disappoint, proving again and again that their own intrinsic weaknesses are keeping them from moving forward into a happy and healthy relationship.
You sound like a solid fellow. I'm sure you love and respect her, but wish she would do so equally. She's putting you in an unfair position by saying, "I can't be held responsible for my actions or decisions."
She's unbalanced. For reasons you certainly do not have time to discover from three hours away and miles of emotional distance.
What's making this separation hard for you, as well as anyone in your position, is that she keeps coming back for more. Another remark, another act of affection, continuing an unending cycle of pushing you away and then luring you back.
You deserve better than that.
It's easier to walk away from a fire-breathing dragon than a warm smile and a kind embrace. Of course she's going to say the things you need to hear, she's feeding your Messiah Complex extra servings of Wheaties, and it's working.
The truth is you can't save people who don't want to save themselves.
It's going to be her decision to let go of the past, to release the grip this controlling, jealous ex-boyfriend has over her.
Until she does that, she is frozen in a state of emotional retardation.
I know it's hard to walk away when they call your name, when they say sweet things and hint at a brighter future.
But these are just words. Her actions will remain consistent.
It hurts to let go. But I'm of the belief that it is better to be alone than to be with someone that makes you unhappy.
Free yourself and prepare for a brighter future. Don't settle for daddy issues and emotional immaturity.
Mark my words, a woman of substance blows a girl of confusion out of the water, every time.
Don't settle for what you know. Wait for what you deserve.
It's worth it.
Send all of your questions to askdrewlindo@gmail.com.
posted by Drew at
10:41 AM
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