One Fifth The Perfect Girl

Hey drew whats to when you have 5 girlfriends that are attracted to you but you really don't want to be
the bad guy.And when i mean bad guy i mean like seeing and messing around with each one.I mean its a tuff call
because they're all cutee pies but man i don't want to be known as a player.Back in High School it was like whatever
but now i look at it as been there done that!I'm a stand up guy and thats what I'm known for being.Whats your 2 cents on this Drew?

- The Great Gambino

Dear Great Gambino,

I'm confused on this one. You have five girlfriends? But you don't want to be the bad guy?

If this were an action movie, you'd be the guy at the end holding the explosive trigger on the roof of a building, with some cop trying to talk you down while you shout, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

You ARE the bad guy. Already. Too late.

Unless of course you failed to explicitly state that you have 5 platonic female friends who are into you. Then that's a different story.

If that is indeed the story, if five of your cute, platonic female friends want to blast off into romance-mode, then you, my friend, are the one glimmer of statistical hope that makes those poor bastards in The Friend Zone dream a little dream.

But if this is a case of the 1 man for every 5 attractive females, then I can't help you choose which one is right for you. I can only advise that you attempt to keep them in your life as friends if you're not sure where your emotions lie, and, if one day your friendships strengthen and attractions solidify, the rest will work itself out.

But back to your vague and confusing email, you asked and answered your own question. You basically wrote and asked; "Drew, is it wrong to do the wrong thing?"

Yeah. It's wrong to do the wrong thing, chief. Ten points to you.

If we need to discuss what the wrong thing is, then I'll be happy to specify.

Messing around with several girls while not being entirely honest about your intentions, or giving any thought to their own feelings, is probably not the right thing to do. If you've got a brain and a heart enough to keep your conscience running, then you can probably tell when you're exploiting someone's affections for a selfish gain.

If all five of these girls understood you weren't that into them, that it was just casual, and that the others existed, yet still wanted to get together with you, then you'd be in better standing from a moral perspective. You'd give them the option to be consenting adults who allow themselves to take and share a sliver of happiness instead of the whole pie.

But most girls don't want to be a fraction or a statistic, they want to be the only girl you want. The only one you need.

Play on, playa. Just don't play with knives.

Or the fragile hearts of naive girls. Bad taste, chap.

Send all of your questions to askdrewlindo@gmail.com.