And wake up where the clouds are far behind me...
Dear Drew,
I have lived in the same place my whole life. I am getting ready for my first big move, and my friends are ticked. I told them not to worry, I am not so far away, that they can't come see me or vice versa, but I am stilling getting a lot of the ' don't move away from us' or 'I am so mad you are moving'. I know they are going to miss me. I am truly going to miss them so much, but this move is for the best. I have finally just started telling them, they are not going to put their lives on hold for me. They arent going to stay in this stinktown forever so I won't miss them. I am not moving away from them, I am moving on to what is ultimately better for me.
So two things:
Am I wrong for being mad, that they are aren't being supportive?
How do you think I should deal with them?
Sincerly,
The Ex-Californian
Dear Ex-Californian,
Humans beings fear many things. Death. Pain. Rejection. Tara Reid. But chiefly among them is the threat of change, because change usually involves loss. We lose something we know to have it unceremoniously replaced.
In this case, your friends are losing your company, as well as the privilege of being able to spend time with you whenever they please. What's worse is that your own move probably incites feelings & thoughts in them that are uncomfortable or unwelcome. Your decision to upgrade your life and pursue whatever dreams or goals you have for yourself may cause them to reassess their own choices and stations in life.
Like it or not, this can sometimes cause resentment. Its that selfish side of us that places blame on those who "ruin a good thing" by changing the status quo.
Like the smart kid who gets shot in Boyz In The Hood.
In fact, exactly like the smart kid who gets shot in Boyz In The Hood.
What can you do? Not much, because as they will soon realize, this is a lot more about their own personal issues than anything else. Its unfortunate that they are not being supportive (hopefully you'll make out better with your next set of friends) but I would try to remind each and every one of them of some important facts:
1) That their friendship is important to you
2) That you want to spend as much time as possible with them before you go
3) That you NEED them, I repeat, NEED them in your life. This helps to establish what will soon become a long-distance friendship.
4) That you love them (if you do.)
People can be sensitive in the most invisible ways, and it is important to take the time to remind them about the unfounded nature of their insecurities. You may even want to spend some time encouraging them to follow their own dreams.
Oh, and a word of advice: Try not to use the phrase "get out of this stinkin' town," or anything of that nature. Otherwise, you're insinuating, whether you meant to or not, that only losers stay. This makes them "losers," and you a "jackass," so be careful what you say.
Even if it is the truth...
Drew Lindo has a new email address. Send all of your questions to askdrewlindo@gmail.com.
Click here to email Drew Lindo!
I have lived in the same place my whole life. I am getting ready for my first big move, and my friends are ticked. I told them not to worry, I am not so far away, that they can't come see me or vice versa, but I am stilling getting a lot of the ' don't move away from us' or 'I am so mad you are moving'. I know they are going to miss me. I am truly going to miss them so much, but this move is for the best. I have finally just started telling them, they are not going to put their lives on hold for me. They arent going to stay in this stinktown forever so I won't miss them. I am not moving away from them, I am moving on to what is ultimately better for me.
So two things:
Am I wrong for being mad, that they are aren't being supportive?
How do you think I should deal with them?
Sincerly,
The Ex-Californian
Dear Ex-Californian,
Humans beings fear many things. Death. Pain. Rejection. Tara Reid. But chiefly among them is the threat of change, because change usually involves loss. We lose something we know to have it unceremoniously replaced.
In this case, your friends are losing your company, as well as the privilege of being able to spend time with you whenever they please. What's worse is that your own move probably incites feelings & thoughts in them that are uncomfortable or unwelcome. Your decision to upgrade your life and pursue whatever dreams or goals you have for yourself may cause them to reassess their own choices and stations in life.
Like it or not, this can sometimes cause resentment. Its that selfish side of us that places blame on those who "ruin a good thing" by changing the status quo.
Like the smart kid who gets shot in Boyz In The Hood.
In fact, exactly like the smart kid who gets shot in Boyz In The Hood.
What can you do? Not much, because as they will soon realize, this is a lot more about their own personal issues than anything else. Its unfortunate that they are not being supportive (hopefully you'll make out better with your next set of friends) but I would try to remind each and every one of them of some important facts:
1) That their friendship is important to you
2) That you want to spend as much time as possible with them before you go
3) That you NEED them, I repeat, NEED them in your life. This helps to establish what will soon become a long-distance friendship.
4) That you love them (if you do.)
People can be sensitive in the most invisible ways, and it is important to take the time to remind them about the unfounded nature of their insecurities. You may even want to spend some time encouraging them to follow their own dreams.
Oh, and a word of advice: Try not to use the phrase "get out of this stinkin' town," or anything of that nature. Otherwise, you're insinuating, whether you meant to or not, that only losers stay. This makes them "losers," and you a "jackass," so be careful what you say.
Even if it is the truth...
Drew Lindo has a new email address. Send all of your questions to askdrewlindo@gmail.com.
Click here to email Drew Lindo!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home